My Ex Is Turning My Kids Against Me: What Parental Alienation Looks Like in Court

Your kids used to run up to you when they came home. Now they barely look at you in the eye. They're starting to say things that sound exactly like something your ex would say, and you wonder, is someone putting these things in their head? More importantly, will a Michigan judge ever see what you're seeing?
Parental alienation is one of the most frustrating situations in family court because the damage is real, but the evidence is hard to point out. So, you need to know what do courts look at? How do they respond? What can you do about it? And that's what this video covers. By the end, you'll know how Michigan law connects the alienating behavior directly to custody decisions, what judges actually look at when they have to make these decisions, and what steps you can take to protect your relationship with your child.
I'm Jim Kraayeveld. Been practicing family law for over 30 years here in West Michigan. Founded my own firm. We have a great team that really knows these issues. The first thing that every Michigan judge has to do when dealing with custody is look at the best interest factors. One of those is Factor J that says, " What's the parents' willingness to encourage and facilitate a relationship with the other parent?
And that is where parental alienation comes in. If the party can prove that there's parental alienation, Factor J is going to become a very, very important best interest factor. I've got a playlist on all of the 12 best interest factors. You can look at that, where I go into it more, in more detail. But that is a relevant point courts are going to look at.
Do you have documented patterns? You can't show up to court and say, "Well, there was a single incident that the kids acted funny, or they said something weird." Nope, judges aren't going to take you seriously unless you can show that the other parent is actually coaching the children on what to say, blocking parenting time, using the children to deliver messages.
When you can show that there was a good, healthy relationship before the separation or since the divorce or since the start of the divorce, and now all of a sudden you can show incident after incident and you keep a journal, this is something that's typically proven over a long period of time, you can show the court system it was a great relationship, but now it's not, and this is what's happening.
Typically, what you're going to need to do in addition to having a journal that shows the dates and the pattern might be unreturned calls, blocked calls, or blocked videos, missed parenting time. For example, you're being denied parenting time repeatedly. Those are the things that can be the basis of your case.
But typically, experts are needed. So, in addition to you keeping track, potentially having witnesses that have witnessed this, grandparents might be in the equation and go, "Wow, we had a great relationship before, but now the kids have been turned against us." And most often, courts are going to want you to bring in an expert.
Yes, they cost money. Yes, they cost time. But they're necessary to be able to put the entire picture together to say, "Look, this is what it was, this is what it's now, and this is how it's impacting the kids." So, all of that you need to be able to put together before you ever set foot in a court where you're going through a custody fight that involves parental alienation.
So, if you came here today because your child's pulling away from you and you don't know whether or not a Michigan court is actually going to take that seriously, I hope this gives you a clearer picture of where you actually stand. Our firm covers situations like this every week, specific, scary Michigan family law scenarios, and we give straight answers about what courts actually do.
So, hit subscribe so that the next one is waiting when you need it. If you're in the middle of this right now or you can feel it coming, the most useful thing you can do is have a conversation with someone who knows this terrain. You don't have to commit to anything, sign anything. You just want to get a clear read on what your situation actually looks like from a legal standpoint, know what your options are, and what they're going to cost.
Our firm offers consultations. We respond to every inquiry within a business day. You can reach us at 616-612-1393. You can visit us on the web, kraayeveld.com. Show up, have a conversation, get clear information. There's no pressure. That's what I'm inviting you to do.